#11. Watching Unsolved Mysteries and America’s Most Wanted alone

For some reason, every time that you end up watching these shows, you are home alone with the curtains drawn, letting the living room light escape out into the dark street.

Of course this episode of Unsolved Mysteries happens to feature a serial killer who lurks around suburban backyards in search of unsuspecting victims, while America’s Most Wanted is on the lookout for a gang of kidnappers who were last seen in a white Ford van. Both just so happen to be on the prowl in your small hometown…

During the commercial break you mumble to yourself out loud, to make it seem as if you are having a real conversation, in case those murderers are outside checking that you are home alone. You realize that with the curtains drawn, everyone outside can see you clearly, but not the other way around. You really should close the curtains to maintain your sanity, yet you are too scared to budge.

Suddenly, a car you don’t recognize slowly pulls into your driveway. A shadowy figure glances towards you through the window. Oh shit it’s the murderer! With a surge of adrenaline you spring towards the front door scrambling to lock everything your 10 year old body can reach. You suffer from what feels like a mild heart attack, crouching paralyzed against the door, avoiding any vantage point that the windows in the house provide. Straining to hear through the door, you realize that there are no approaching footsteps. That’s odd. Could it be the backyard killer instead?

Eventually, your curiosity with an ounce of accumulated courage finds you sneaking into the adjacent bedroom and carefully using your pinchers to crack open the tiniest peek through the blinds. You’re expecting to see a psychotic murderer with a clown-like grin pressed against the window, but what’s this? Nothing? Where’s the car?! It must just be a false alarm. It could have just been a 3-point turn. But to be safe, you gotta go check and lock that sliding door to the back yard before it is too late…

Photo sources: 1, 2

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5 Responses to #11. Watching Unsolved Mysteries and America’s Most Wanted alone

  1. Danny says:

    Haha, Matt this made me think about watching Rescue 911 with Willy Shatner and being scared to death something was going to happen to me or dreaming about getting the chance to call 911 and save someone’s life.

  2. Mark A says:

    Unsolved mysteries scared the shit out of me. I’d rather go into a dark room and say “blood mary” 13 times into mirror than be in a dark room with that creepy soundtrack playing. Can you imagine passing out to a DVD Unsolved Mysteries collection and waking up to the DVD menu with that song playing? I’d probably soil myself.

  3. Jake says:

    LOL wow just wow i can relate to this so much i ended up getting murder nightmares for years!

  4. omg i used to be like tht after scary movies i would lok all locks and hide in a corner

  5. Pingback: Choosing the Feelings You Wish to Experience | OM by UM.com

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