#17. Walking in on your parents playing Nintendo

The house is unusually quiet.

You have just finished reading Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in your room, leaving you dreaming about how amazing it would be if it rained beverages in real life. Then you could have a Coca-Cola swimming pool! Naw, it would just leave you sticky and very uncomfortable in the sun. A ridiculous thought.

Where is everyone?

A faint, muffled sound comes from the living room. The TV is must be on, but the volume is turned way down low. That’s very suspicious… time to investigate.

As you near the door to the living room, you hear hushed giggles from… who’s that?… your parents?! Oh no! Are they trying to make you a brother? Right now?!

You burst through the door to find a scene almost as shocking: your mom and dad sitting Indian style a foot away from the TV, each aggressively pounding away at a Nintendo controller as if it had four buttons. They look up without pressing start, dying instantly. For a second they look just as shocked as you.

The only thought going on in your head is “What the hell?! What was with the weekly lectures about how video games are so evil and rotting my brain?”

You’re waiting for your parents to say something… at least make some sort of attempt to fake a pathetic excuse for this scene. Possible and acceptable excuses include:

1)      “Hi! We just decided that every Friday night from 9-10pm will be family video game night for the REST OF YOUR LIFE! Let’s get started.”

2)      “We were just testing to make sure video games make you dumber/ruin your vision, and testing is complete. We’re right of course.”

3)      “Your mom and I just want to be cool like you kids. You rock! I can’t believe we MADE you…”

4)      “I’ll give you an advance on your allowance if you can you show me how to beat this level.”

But they say nothing to save the awkwardness of the situation. Instead they slowly inch their heads back center towards the screen and keep playing.

You can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous they look. Why do they madly swing their controller around and lean their bodies when trying to make a turn in a racing game. It’s only 8-bit! It’s not THAT real… you’re gonna have to wait another 20 years for the Wii to make use of that technique, buddy!

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One Response to #17. Walking in on your parents playing Nintendo

  1. Pingback: #59. How to be a Baller – by Uncle Scrooge | Retro '80s Kid

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