Before there was the gecko, the modern caveman, or the State Farm agent granting your every wish, there was the SURVIVAL guy.
One of the best parts of staying home sick besides becoming a retail pricing master from watching the Price is Right all day, was the chance to watch these ridiculous commercials.
I have no idea who the main actor is, but he’s in every commercial. If he is the CEO of Survival, I would be thoroughly impressed by his abilities to make a car commercial seem like the intro to a really bad 80’s porno, but at the same time feel bad that he’s killing his credibility with these shitty ads.
There are two commercials that really stick out in my mind. There’s this one:
and one where a desperate poker player throws in the keys to his Porsche into the pot. I couldn’t find it on Youtube, but it goes a little something like this:
Gambler: “uhh… I’m throwing in the Porsche, it’s brand new [throws keys on top of a stack of cash].”
Creepy Survival Dude: “Is it insured?”
Creepy Survival Dude: “By Survival?”
Creepy Survival Dude: [looking directly at the camera like Rocky] “Then I can’t take that bet.”
I also found one where they feature the OJ white Bronco car chase…
I need to find the guy who came up with these commercial concepts and hire him as a writer… seriously. So horribly awesome! GUARANTEED.