#32. Fun with calculators!

In the fourth grade, everyone in your class was lent their very own four function calculator for the year. It was royal blue, it ran on solar power… it was the TI-108!

It was just a plain 8-digit calculator, but it was yours, so you decided to treat it like a toy/pet.

First up: Let’s create the world’s largest number!

99999999x99999999=… E

E?! You wonder how combining numbers could ever sprout letters, but no time to contemplate the oddities of this universe… you’re itching to mess around with the solar cells.

In a slightly sick and twisted way, you spent the next five minutes experimenting with killing and resurrecting your pet TI-108. You cover all four solar cells with your thumb, watching in satisfaction as you deprive the calculator of its life force, slowly suffocating the numbers to their death. Next, you would only expose half of one solar cell to see if that amount was the minimum light needed to keep the calculator alive. A faint semblance of the top half of the digits appears, but never fully recovers. You discover that your calculator only truly NEEDS one full cell to operate, so like a Nazi, you proceed to do your homework by choking the TI-108’s three solar cells with your left thumb while performing your precious calculations with your right index finger. This only lasted to the point when you got bored, and wanted to watch the calculator die again. However this time, there would be no resurrection, as you were able to quickly transfer the TI-108 from its choke hold state into its blue plastic slide cover without allowing one spec of light to hit those cells. Buried alive.

One week later while learning about how 13÷4= 3 R1, your friend Ted turns to you and whispers:

“Wanna hear a cool story about boobs?”

You’re 10 years old, and just wrapped up your first sex ed classes last week. Since then your eyes have been opened to the wonderful world of boobies, and have never been the same since. At this point in your life, any mention of boobs was just… awesome!

“Hell yea!”

“Ok, look at my calculator and I’ll tell you The Calculator Story:

There once was a girl that had 69 boobs.

That was 222 many.

She went down to 51st to meet Dr. X

She had 8 operations, and that left her =

Guys (or maybe girls too?)! Remember Pimp Wars and Drug Wars in high school on the TI 83? Someone should make an app for that.

Photo sources: 1, 2, 3

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